jueves, 7 de julio de 2005

Ecologia sorprendente

Siempre he considerado de gran importancia todo lo relativo a la protección de los animales y las acciones encaminadas a la protección de las especies en peligro de extinción, pero sin embargo debo confesar que ultimamente los ecologistas empiezan a pasarse de la ralla.

En los últimos años alguna lumbrera decidio que era necesario reintroducir en la sierra que rodea a mi pueblo, algunas especies que la habitaron en tiempos ya lejanos y cuya presencia hoy dia era escasa o nula.

Así que listos y bien mandaos los campeones de la ecología comarcal decidieron tras tomarse unas copichuelas (supongo que no pocas) , que era preciso reintroducir la vívora común (bicho venenoso y en consecuencia peligroso para el hombre) en el ecosistema local.

Sin pensarselo estos señoritos soltaron unos cuantos sacos de vívoras en un paraje cercano a la población y se fueron a casa satisfechos del deber cumplido, sin tener en cuenta que la desaparición de estos seres, vino motivada por la ausencia de comida para ellas en el monte... y como los animalitos tienen que comer, el vívoro le dijo a la vívora

-¡Matilde, aqui en el monte no hay futuro, coge a los niños y bajemonos p'al pueblo!.

Así que ahora tenemos una bonita invasión de vivoras buscandose los garbanzos en los aledaños
del pueblo, piscinas, parques e incluso en las casas de campo. Doy fe de ello que tuve que vermelas con tres de ellas en menos de una semana, por considerar las señoras vívoras que mi casa era más comoda para anidar que la sierra, cada vez más carente de alimento y refugio para ellas.

¿Era realmente necesaria la "reintroducción" de un bicho peligroso en un habitat que dejó de ser el suyo hace decadas?

El pasado sabado vi por televisión como uno de estos grupitos de aspirantes a "capitan planeta", se descolgaba por un acantilado en la misma sierra, con el fin de capturar a un pollo de buitre recien nacido para sexarlo, vacunarlo y catalogarlo.

Los ecologicos cenutrios lo hacían con el loable objetivo de poder controlar el crecimiento de la reintroducida población de buitres negros que, igualmente, se las ven putas para comer en un hábitat donde ya no existen grandes depredadores que generen la suficiente carroña para garantizar su condumio diario.

Pues nada, que estos amantes de la naturaleza cogieron al pollo, lo metieron en un saco y lo llevaron a su base de operaciones, conde le pusieron más banderillas (vacunas) que a un mihura, una argolla en cada pata. un precinto numerado en el cuello y una etiqueta de colores remachada (sí, sí remachada) en cada ala.

Y así, hecho un cromo devolvieron al confundido pollo a su nido y se volvieron a casita tan ufanos sin pensar que muy probablemente la sra Buitra al ver a su hijo de esa guisa, tal vez optara por abandonar el nido o echarlo de casa.

-¿Pero donde vas con esa facha?-graznó indignada la buitra-¡hala a la puta calle desgraciao..!,¡hippy que eres un hippy!

Ecologistas....¡A estos tios tambien habría que anillarlos con un bonito remache en los cataplines!.

53 comentarios:

Cobra Cádiz dijo...

Estimado Sr. Hundidor, soy una de las serpientes afectadas, advierto en su exposición afirmaciones injustas y sesgadas, las expondré:
"... tiempos ya lejanos ...", probablemente 30 o 40 años sean muchos para usted pero si piensa que mis ancestros se arrastraban por estas tierras hace mas de 100 millones de años y los primeros pobladores "humanos" de la peninsula llegaron hace 40.000 años (el 6 de Febrero los hizo) puede que no sean tantos.
Segundo, no hay bestia mas dañina para el hombre que otro hombre, ¿ justifica eso su ensartamiento y posterior abrasamiento ?, ¿ sabe que nuestro veneno se usa para la fabricación de medicinas para enfermedades cardiovasculares, cáncer, diabétes ... ? no somos tan malas ¿verdad?.
Quiero recordarle las continuas quemas que sus iguales provocan, la masiva urbanización que destruye nuestros ecosistemas (3 veces nos hemos mudado en los últimos 2 años) y a nivel planetario desertización, contaminación, cambio climático cosas estas que con todo el respeto que ustedes me merecen podrian meterselas por el ...
La proxima vez que me vea nadando en su piscina y gusta de bañarse solo, me lo dice; yo me salgo y tan amigos ¿qué es eso de sacar el rifle de balines?.

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Es fa saber què es necessita gent que realize tasques de voluntariat mediambiental (què no migambiental) en la serra de Mariola. Interessats apuntar-se en info@mariolaverda.org, què és l'adreça de correu de l'associació ecologista Mariola Verda. Tota ajuda és poca

El Hundidor dijo...

Estimada cobra (o vívora) ¿quien coño le ha comentado lo del rifle de balines y lo de que la vívora nadaba en mi piscina?, debo entender que vd y yo hemos hablado en persona de estos detalles ya que en mi post no doy detalles acerca del método de ejecución empleado o la ubicación de su congénere en mi piscina.

Personalmente intente comunicarme con la vívora pero como no atendía a razones tuve que emplear métodos más expeditivo.

No desconozco su valor farmacológico y ecológico pero tambien reconozco el valor zoológico y sentimental de mi querida perra que a pesar de estar en su casa fue mordida y emponzoñada por su simpatica compañera de especie y cerca estuvo de pasar a mejor vida...

Asi que como cada uno en su casa y Dios en la de todos, me la pela quien viviese hace 100.000 años en el terreno que ahora ocupa mi casa, puesto que ahora vivo yo y si hay que defender el cotarro a balazos, pues sea...

Saludos

Ratón Pérez dijo...

'amiga culebra',

Muy enternecedor su relato a cerca de los milenios de estancia en las sierras en amor y compañía con la naturaleza que tal vez engañen a estos humanos y jipis, pero a mi no ha hecho si no tocarme los cojones. Desde hace los mismos miles de años ustedes han estado jodiéndonos la vida a los ratones de monte, que gracias a dios debemos tener una cara mas simpática que el chicle pisao que teneis vosotras y no nos joden con la misma intensidad.

Aprovecho esta oportunidad para rogar a los jipis repobladores que se pongan las etiquetitas en los cojones y que se metan las serpientes por el culo (con perdón), que en lo que llevamos de año ya se me han comido 10 camadas y tengo los riñones hechos cisco (mi señora tiene la hormona loca), ¡que uno ya no es un chaval leche!

En fin, serafín, que cada uno viva su vida y si las serpientes ha desaparecido, pues peor para ellas, nosotros nos comprometemos a no repoblar el monte de jipis cuando estos se extingan.

atentamente, Pérez (y no, no soy el puto ratón de los dientes)

El Hundidor dijo...

¡Que grande eres Perez!,No voy a poner ratoneras nunca más.

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Creo que es el momento de ampliar el viejo 'mata hippies en las Cies (ahhh)' a todo lo largo y ancho del pais (o paises, o estado,... o yo que cojones sé). Sinceramente estoy hasta las pelotas de descerebrados que se han leido dos fancines, han ido a dos manifas y se han follao un par de chochos peludos y les entra el venazo capitanplanetapobredenosotroscomonosoprimenquepocacomprensionenestemundocapitalizado del carajo. Amigos, crecer no es tan traumático lo juro y el cambio es posible pero, de veras, tocar los huevos no es el camino. Hacer lo que TU crees que es correcto, y cuando los demás te dicen 'eh, tio para un poco' Ladrar indignado '¿Veis? no es posible el cambio con estos fascistas opresores!!!' (je)

demostración:
Yo estuve viviendo en un sitio que tenía una bonita alameda con unos árboles centenarios preciosos. De veras, adoraba pasear los dominguitos por la mañana por ahi o echarme una cervecita en una de la muchas terracitas que había por el lugar... entonces el gobierno opresor de mi ciudad anunció que derrumbaría el parque para hacer un parking subterrano. Horror! Desgraciadamente las respuestas contra el opresor, en vez de iniciar una campaña de presión seria y de búsqueda de apoyos sólidos, consistieron en una serie de reuniones de piojosos colgados de los árboles, haciéndose uno con ellos imagino', fumando porros y tocándo tambores como animales con la consiguiente jodienda a mi y al resto de los vecinos. Tras estas reivindicativas reuniones, invariablemente, sus amigos lo arbolitos amanecían rodeados de charcos de orín, vomitonas, colillas de porros y cascos de litrona, y yo con unas ganas tremendas de empezar a recoger firmas y que hiciesen ya de una puta vez la mierda de parking. No se como quedaría la cosa, pero viendo la tactica de los hippies seguramente ya puedan aparcar su cuatro latas a 3 euros la hora, y lo peor no es eso, sino que no habrán descubierto que han vuelto a tirar al retrete su potencial de cambiar las cosas (que no dudo que lo tengan) y la culpa, como siempre, será de otros, ellos hicieron todo lo posible por que no mataran a sus amiguitos lo árboles (pregúntenle si no a sus camellos de confianza).

en fin amigos, que me vuelvo a mi trabajo opresor a ver si este mes también me llega para pagar las opresoras facturas que me impone este sistema corrupto y, si, opresor.


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